What if this is goodbye?

March 27, 2012
I kissed my son goodbye this morning before leaving for work.  And the day before that.  And the day before that, too.  For more than a month now.  Yes, my 6'4" almost 21 year old adult son gets a kiss on the forehead from his momma every morning.  And he hears that I love him.  And I hear that he loves me back.  And that makes my heart smile.

I have some friends who would give anything to be in my shoes right now, even for a day.  They are moms who will never have the privilege of shedding happy tears at their sons wedding, who will not warn him when he gleefully tosses her grandchild a little too high in the air, who will not marvel how her son handles the joys and struggles of manhood.

For these moms who have lost a precious son, there are no more days to treasure.  Only the days they have already stored up in their hearts and will remember for the rest of their lives.  When someone close to you endures this kind of indescribable pain, it tends to knock you into reality.  What if? What if I am called upon to walk this road someday?  What if I become that mom? THAT mom.  The one who has suddenly, tragically and without warning received notice that her son or daughter has died.  It is unthinkable.  But the unthinkable happens sometimes.

I had two friends lose their precious adult sons within 3 days of each other a few weeks ago, which sent me reeling into mourning their losses.  It doesn't matter that one died as a result of a tragic accident and one died at his own hand.  Neither mom saw it coming.  Neither mom got to say goodbye. Neither mom was prepared.  But they both shared something profound.  An unwavering faith in a God Who KNOWS.  A God Who knows their pain, Who sees their sorrow, and Who meets them in their darkest moments and is able to bring something equally unfathomable: light to their darkness and hope to their hurting hearts.  Life is forever changed, and the days ahead will be so very hard.  But God knows, and He heals.  He is our Hope.